Wood, Sund and the Crawford Trade.

[Diesel]

The Day Before the Draft

Sund on the phone when Woody comes in.

Sund: Yes, those are my terms.

Sund: Ok.

Sund: Ok. I like that.

Sund: Ok, it’s that all you want?

Sund: Great You have a deal!!

Sund hangs up the phone and smiles.

Woody: Who was that?

Sund: That was Riley.

Woody: Riley? Pat Riley? I like him. He’s a good coach, but not better than yours truly!

Sund: What? No Larry Riley.

Woody: So you made a deal with Golden State. Ah, Yes, you have finally traded Smoove for Biedrins!

Sund: Not exactly. I traded Speedy and Acie for Crawford.

Woody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You cannot trade Acie!!! You cannot trade Speedy. Those are my guys!!!

Sund: You barely play them. I just traded two guys who don’t play for a guy who gets 20 ppg!

Woody: NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO… you can not trade My guys!!! Who is going to make Speedy's Gumbo? Who is going to babysit my daugthers? You can't trade them!

Sund: You don’t even play them.

Woody: Acie is my secret weapon. I was saving him for the right time?

Sund: For the right time…. What about the playoffs?

Woody: NO, the time was not right then

Sund: We were getting our *ss whipped.. The time couldn’t be no righter!!

Woody: Acie is too special to use on Lebron James. He’s better than that. I held him out because I love him. He’s like my son. I’m not going to let my son get cheated by the refs. No, the time was not right.

Sund: You’re talking nonsense.

Joe and Dominique rush in the room.

Dominique: We heard a loud commotion, is everything alright?

Woody: No, Everything is not alright… He’s trying to trade my son!!!

Dominique: You don’t have a son, you have girls.. Alexis and Mariah. What’s wrong with you.

Woody: No. My son… Acie!

Joe: I thought I was your son. That’s what you told me last year.

Woody: Joe, Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one true king. Remember... let me tell you something my father told me. Look at the stars. The great kings of the past are up there, watching over us. So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I.

Joe: You mean: J-iso Left. J-Iso right.

Woody: Yes My son!! I am here to guide you!

Dominque: How is he trading Acie?

Sund: I have a deal of Acie and Speedy for Jamal Crawford.

Dominique: That’s a great move. Crawford reminds me of well, You Woody. You took every shot you saw too.

Woody: Things were different then. I was a scorer.

Dominique: Yeah, I don’t understand how you got this reputation as a defensive coach. You didn’t play a lick of defense when you played.

Woody: I had bad knees.

Dominique: But you bark at these guys for not playing defense. Well, Except for Bibby.

Joe: I won’t let you talk about my dad like that… Nor will I let you talk about my brothers. My daddy is a king.

Dominique: He is not your daddy! And when he played he was a bench player.

Woody: That’s not true. I was a star in the game like my boys.

Dominique: When were you a star?

Woody: I don’t like what you’re insinuating. I was the man with Kansas City and Indiana.

Dominique: You were not the man.

Joe: We’re not going to take this. Come on Dad. Let’s go work on your new play. J-Battle.

Woody: Yeah, Joe Back and to the left (J-Battle) is going to take us to the finals!!

Joe and Woody Leave.

Sund: I didn’t want to say anything but negotiations with Bibby are going bad.

Dominique: SO is Crawford going to be the new PG?

Sund: heck no. He gives us leverage on Bibby, but I don’t think Bibby will sign our deal.

Dominique: So what are you going to do?

Sund: I will pick up a PG in the draft. Crawford also gives us some leverage on Joe.

Dominique: Woody has mind control on Joe. Joe think that’s his daddy.

Evil Belkin comes in the room

Evil Belkin: Let me introduce Myself, my name is Belkin! I own this team!

Sund: You don’t own this team. The ASG owns this team.

Evil Belkin: That’s what they think. I have let them go on spending their money, building my team and in just a few days, I will come in and I will swipe this team away from them. They are all idiots.

Sund: You can’t do that.

Evil Belkin: Oh, I can and I will . Dominique, did they get you to buy in to this tragedy?

Dominique: Yes, I am a part owner of the franchise.

Evil Belkin: I hope you didn’t buy a new house in this bad market. I will tell you what. Because you played for my beloved Celtics, I will have pity on you. And Sund, if you start following my directions, I might have some pity on you too.

Sund: Huh? OK, enough with the charades, I don't care what you do.

Evil Belkin: Since I like you, I will tell you the truth. The first Hawk team I designed was quite naturally perfect. It was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of not getting bad enough players to win the draft lottery. Damn Sura!!!

Sund: What are you talking about?

Evil Belkin: Thus I redesigned it, based on Atlanta’s history, to more accurately reflect the variant grotesqueries of it’s nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. This city is full of losers and fans of other teams. They would only come out to support the other guy. Wade, Lebron, Kobe, Shaq… they come out. For our team, there's no support.

Dominique: Were you here when we rocked the Phil?… Were you here for game 6 last year? 100 million Hawks fans strong and we made an impression on everybody! Check it out, it’s on youtube. When I’m feeling low, I download that game highlights.

Evil Belkin: Well, let me tell you how that happened. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive person, initially hired to investigate certain aspects of the Atlanta fans psyche. If I am the owner of the Hawks, he would undoubtedly be its GM.

Dominique: Woody?

Evil Belkin: Please. As I was saying, he stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all Atlantans accepted the team as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level.

Sund: You mean the choice of choosing you or the ASG?

Evil Belkin: There’s a smart person in the room!!! You see that picture of me and Knight not shaking hands and this whole court case is a setup. We are the owners. However, if you give the people a choice to either accept the evil man from Boston or to accept the good old boys from Atlanta… then they will all eventually follow one or the other. We don’t care who they follow.. they will still be Hawks fans. They will still come out to games. They will still root or boo. They are caught up in our web of lies… and they enjoy it!!!

Sund: So what do you need from me.

Evil Belkin: Well, in order for this hoax to reach it’s pinnacle, the Hawks have to meet Boston in the playoffs. Then you have the haters of Belkin and the lovers of belkin meeting. We missed the spot this past year because of the ignorance of Woody. But this year, you have to do as I say or we have to fire you like we did your predecessor. He became aware of the game that we play with the hearts and minds of the Atlanta fan base and he rebelled. He wanted to put a stop to the playoff dreams by not going through with the trade that got us to the 1 vs. 8 series. You have thrown our rouse into a stop by your deal for Crawford. Having speedy allowed us to pay Bibby.

Sund: So you want me to resign Bibby?

Evil Belkin: If Bibby is not resigned, then I will pull the cover on this whole operation and me and the ASG will start to fire everybody and restart!

Sund: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need the fans and the organization to survive.

Evil Belkin: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. So what will it be?

WHAT WILL SUND DO?

Edited June 27, 2009 by Diesel

[buckeye242424]

That's too funny. I'm speechless...I'm not sure how to even respond to the question. Nice work...

[Bahamut]

Proof that conversation never took place: 'Nique didn't say "heat check," not even once.

:comp_virus:

[MaceCase]

Somebody thoroughly enjoys his Matrix Reloaded :thumbsupsmileyanim:

[NJHAWK]

Classic, absolutley classic, thanxxxx. Acie the secret weapon, Clank babysitting the kids, f'n classic.

[drzachary]

Diesel, I think I'm in love with you. Hope your wife is okay with that.

[T21]

:thumbsupsmileyanim:

D, are you Cohen's long lost brother?!