DJlaysitup Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) OK, Ok, ok...everybody is thinking "DJ..are you that rich or just drunk?" No, but I will be - and soon. I woke up this morning feeling lucky and there is a $600million powerball tonight. Bingo. Just to "seal the deal" I bought 5 tickets - so at least one of them should be a winner . Even if I have to split the pot with some batch of McDonald's employees - I should have enough to buy the Hawks and squirrel away a few million for a rainy day. Besides, buying the Hawks will be my smartest move. My money will be instantly tied up...meaning less potential swindlers/greedy relatives. Owning the team free and clear will mean that even if I lose money over the long haul - I'll still be in great shape compared to what I would do otherwise. (re-marry, gamble, buy stocks) OK - so here is my plan for Monday, May 20th and thereafter: Buy Hawks (obviously)...have meeting with DF to advise him he still has his job...but in title only...if he quits...hire my son as GM. Re-sign Ivan. Re-sign LD with a nice raise. Sign some of our "depth guys" to maintain continuity for LD's sake. Try to trade the second round picks + filler for Marvin. Outbid the other teams for Jarrett Jack. If necessary, package the two first round draft picks to move up as far as possible (not likely far) and get the best center available...if not necessary - get the C and best player available. Re-sign Smoove....get a good Euro....fill out the roster with VetMins. Should be able to do this right around the cap and make the playoffs again next year. Then sit back in my luxury box and post on the chatroom during the games Any thoughts? GO ORB !!!!!!!! Edited May 18, 2013 by DJlaysitup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecampster Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 OK, Ok, ok...everybody is thinking "DJ..are you that rich or just drunk?" No, but I will be - and soon. I woke up this morning feeling lucky and there is a $600million powerball tonight. Bingo. Just to "seal the deal" I bought 5 tickets - so at least one of them should be a winner . Even if I have to split the pot with some batch of McDonald's employees - I should have enough to buy the Hawks and squirrel away a few million for a rainy day. Besides, buying the Hawks will be my smartest move. My money will be instantly tied up...meaning less potential swindlers/greedy relatives. Owning the team free and clear will mean that even if I lose money over the long haul - I'll still be in great shape compared to what I would do otherwise. (re-marry, gamble, buy stocks) OK - so here is my plan for Monday, May 20th and thereafter: Buy Hawks (obviously)...have meeting with DF to advise him he still has his job...but in title only...if he quits...hire my son as GM. Re-sign Ivan. Re-sign LD with a nice raise. Sign some of our "depth guys" to maintain continuity for LD's sake. Try to trade the second round picks + filler for Marvin. Outbid the other teams for Jarrett Jack. If necessary, package the two first round draft picks to move up as far as possible (not likely far) and get the best center available...if not necessary - get the C and best player available. Re-sign Smoove....get a good Euro....fill out the roster with VetMins. Should be able to do this right around the cap and make the playoffs again next year. Then sit back in my luxury box and post on the chatroom during the games Any thoughts? GO ORB !!!!!!!! Bursting your bubble. After taxes and cash payout you get about 40% of the money at going interest rates. That means you'd get $240 million. The previous failed sale was in the $350 million range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaceCase Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Heck, 60% of the Kings just sold for $545 mil but the question is why would you piss it all away on the Hawks? I'd retire to some private island where natives massage my feet hourly and I needn't worry about air balled layups, bricked 3s, missed box out assignments, paying for my mascot's 3rd ACL surgery or more organ pipe cleaner. This is like leaving a deadend job to pay to work for another deadend job./cynicism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNorthCydeRises Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Oh damn. Thanks for reminding me to buy my Powerball tickets before I go to Alabama tonight. I'll play along. - Buy the Hawks, but try to talk some local ATL celebs and/or business people into being minority owners. I need a diverse group. - Dan Cathy ( COO of Chik-fil-A ) . . Net worth - ?? ( but his daddy who owns the company is worth 1.2 billion )- Tyler Perry ( filmmaker ) . . Net Worth - 400 million . . a good fit for the ATL church crowd, making a lot of money off of them- Jeff Foxworthy ( comedian ) . . Net Worth - 100 million . . Hey, I like "redneck" money too- Raven-Symone ( actress ) . . Net Worth - 45 million ( was rumored to be 400 million ) . . Plus we need a female owner And me . . . The 600 ( 240 ) Million Dollar Man Owner/ Genneral Manager . . . ME ( I'm "Jerry Jones-ing this operation. I want full responsibility for the rise or fall of this team ) Head Coach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jerry Sloan 1st Round Draft Picks . . . . . . . . . Kentavious Caldwell-Pope & Shane Larkin Re-Sign . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jeff Teague ( 4 yrs - 26 million ) - Ivan Johnson ( 2 years - 4 million ) Major Free Agent Signing . . . . . Al Jefferson ( 4 yrs - 52 million ) Other Free Agent Signings . . . . Tony Allen ( 3 yrs - 15 million ) - Chris Copeland ( 2 yrs - 10 million ) - Corey Brewer ( 2 yrs - 6 million ) - Samuel Dalembert ( 2 yrs - 6 million ) Depth Chart PG: Teague - ( Williams ) - LarkinG: Allen - Williams - Jenkins - ( Pope )F: Copeland - Brewer - Pope PF: Horford - Ivan - ( Copeland ) - ScottC: Jefferson - Dalembert - ( Ivan ) Edited May 18, 2013 by northcyde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
APE Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Oh it's DJ Gearon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Mule Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Whichever of you guys become the new Hawks owner,I hope you will consider publicity and radio coverageoutside the Interstate 285 corridor. This will cost a lot of $$$ but it will increase attendanceand more than return your investment. Congratulations to the new owner!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHawks89 Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Glad none of you will be the owners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Why not donate your winnings instead of pissing it away buying the Atlanta Hawks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJlaysitup Posted May 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Whichever of you guys become the new Hawks owner,I hope you will consider publicity and radio coverageoutside the Interstate 285 corridor. This will cost a lot of $$$ but it will increase attendanceand more than return your investment. Congratulations to the new owner!! This will be a TOP priority Gray Mule...we will get a "blaster station" like the one out of Chicago. I'll pump $5m into politician's coffers and then rule the airwaves!! We wil have an hour long program - between my daughter's sports show and my own daily rant - where Hawksquawkers are interviewed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJlaysitup Posted May 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Why not donate your winnings instead of pissing it away buying the Atlanta Hawks? Duh...this is America...where 95% of your "charitable donations" go to some brother-in-law's salary. Sure they are "non-profits"...they just pay out salaries...no "profit" - just $$ for the insiders. Athlete to movie star: "Hey - I need to actually move some money in order to keep my non-profit status...how about I send your foundation $50,000?" Movie star to Athlete: "Great idea...I'll send your foundation $50K back...you in my "Charity golf tournament at Palm Springs?" Athlete: "Sorry man...can't make it - we are doing a charity yacht race to Bermuda that weekend". Edited May 18, 2013 by DJlaysitup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaceCase Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 I would'nt buy the Hawks but I would support all the former Hawks as thanks for the entertainment they've brought me.I would hire all of the greatest minds in every field to be Marvin's private tutors each summer.I would absorb all debt in Greece so that Chills can finally go back without fear of getting stoned.I would set up a trust fund to ensure that Team Dime and their children, legitimate or not, would never go hungry at the Cheesecake Factory.I would bankroll Joe Smith's rap career.Pay Josh Powell's parking tickets.Fund Mario's idea for an energy drink.Publish JaCo's tell all memoirs.Fix Jeffrey's teeth.Front all of Zaza's business ventures.Buy LD nice suits for his job interviews.Bribe whatever officials that need bribing to sweep Deke's diamond scandal under the rugs.Fund Mookie's coke habit.Pay off Antoine's debts.....Man this is all getting costly, think I would be better off just buying the Hawks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taz Posted May 18, 2013 Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 Oh man I'd change the entire color scheme back to the pacman red and yellow. I'd let ferry do the restAlso I'd introduce 100 dollar BYOB tickets 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJlaysitup Posted May 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2013 Also I'd introduce 100 dollar BYOB tickets Those would sell like hotcakes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taz Posted May 19, 2013 Report Share Posted May 19, 2013 I don't see why they don't do this just charge a ton of money so you don't get a bunch of rednecks in there or a frat for that matter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaceCase Posted May 19, 2013 Report Share Posted May 19, 2013 I don't see why they don't do this just charge a ton of money so you don't get a bunch of rednecks in there or a frat for that matterThey don't want patrons breathing fire in celebration of great plays. Leave that to the torches by the shot clocks only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrReality Posted May 19, 2013 Report Share Posted May 19, 2013 And your going to buy Johnson City right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATLSmith Posted May 20, 2013 Report Share Posted May 20, 2013 I'd extend that "fan" section to a full section of mid-court seats and provide a complimentary shuttle service to and from local colleges. There's more than one way to build a rabid fan base.I'd make more use of those fire spouts that shoot out of the top of each basket.I'd ban the "Let's go Hawks", "De-Fense", and "Make Some Noise!!!!" sound queues. I always feel like I'm being prompted to cheer a little too much when I go to games. I'd implemented a mandatory "A-T-L" chant whenever someone's at the line though.During low capacity games, I'd have the ushers pick out fans in the 300 sections and give them open seats that are close to court-side and in view of the TV camera's.I'd build a water slide that runs from the top of the arena down to the "Red" bar... Okay, maybe not. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzard Posted May 20, 2013 Report Share Posted May 20, 2013 I would seek out Ted Turner and Stan Kasten as partners. Then draft big men until I hit on one ( I remember Tree Rollins and Deke ) while spending Turners money like I was the Mark Cuban of old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now